A Day In The Life Of An Adventure Filmmaker On Tour

As all adventurers know, it’s crucial to get a long day’s travelling off to the best possible start.

Which is why, whenever circumstances allow, I begin my day with a ubiquitous Full English:

Now, while I’d prefer to cycle to every film screening I attend, I all-too-often find myself on the train…

…once I’ve waded through a jungle of fares and tickets, that is…

…though I do sometimes go further afield:

Public transport does at least provide an opportunity to brush up on my Persian…

…and there’s always time for a coffee en route…

…or a break in the journey to see somewhere new:

Cycling towards the venue…

…I’ll be wondering whether the facilities will really do the film justice…

…or whether they’ll be more of the ‘make-do’ variety:

I’ll wonder whether my hosts will have arranged for me to sleep indoors…

…outdoors…

…or whether it’s up to me to find a place (my favourite)…

…in which case I’ll perhaps seek company on the nearest hilltop…

…or just nip behind a convenient building…

I’ll wonder if dinner is included…

…or if it’s a strictly DIY affair:

I’ll pedal furiously to avoid being late…

…only to end up arriving way too early…

…which at least allows me to experiment with book display styles (I call this “Podium ‘n’ Placards”)…

…as the audience begins to arrive:

Time allowing, I might head to my dressing room…

…get an ill-advised last-minute haircut at the local barber’s…

…pose awkwardly for some sponsor photos with my host…

…or hang out with some famous people…

…of the more or less reluctant variety:

Then I’ll head back to the cinema…

…theatre…

…outdoor centre…

…village hall…

…school hall…

…bike shop…

…café…

…museum…

…or festival…

…in time for the start of the show…

…and to rearrange my book display (I call this “Lemmings Steps”):

Film safely up and running…

…I’ll quietly disappear to minimise the psychological scarring that repeatedly reviewing the last 4 years of my personal life inflicts upon me…

…before returning at the end to find a happy crowd of cyclists…

…or more often non-cyclists…

…waiting to grill me with awkward questions (actually my favourite part)…

…and force me to sign books (I’ve got really fast at this now):

Exhausted, I will collapse into whatever bed I’ve managed to wangle…

or, failing that, crawl into my sleeping bag…

…wake up fresh and rejuvenated…

…and take the train…

…plane…

…or bicycle…

…home.